Evelyn, Evelyn, Why do we bother to stay? Why are you running away? Don’t you feel like severing? Everything’s just come together at last. It’s broken, I don’t want to play. We grew up closer than most. Closer than anything, closer than anything. Shared our bed and wore the same clothes. Talked about everything, spoke about so many things. What shall we wear tonight? What shall we eat today? Can we go ice skating? But we just did that yesterday. Should we be firemen? Can we be astronauts? What if they find us? They’re not looking anyway. Fill my glass, let’s drink a toast. This is our birthday, so why are we weeping? At your side, I feel like a ghost. I wake up first, and I stare at you sleeping. What shall we wear tonight? What shall we eat today? Do you think I should marry him? But we just met him yesterday. Should we be movie stars? Will we be millionaires? I want to be famous. They're watching us anyway. We grew up so very close. A parasite needs a host. I’m only trying to do what is best for us. Well, I never asked for this, I never wanted this. All that I want is some time to myself. Looking in your eyes, I’m coming home. Just get away from me, please just stop touching me. You’re always trying to be somebody else. Now I realize I’m not alone. Well, you’re only scared of me. But you never cared for me. Why don’t you let me free? ‘Cause you’d never dare to be. ‘Cause you never listen, you’re always insisting. (I’m just/just stop) reminiscing, I feel something missing. I just want (you here with me/my privacy), God (can’t we just get along/won’t you leave me alone)?

Behold, the eighth wonder of the natural world! Come one and come all, see the two-headed girl. Stupendous! Revolting! You’ll be shocked, you’ll be awed! A true freak of nature, a blunder of God! But possessing such talents, Hear them sing, see them dance. As seen in the highest class parlors of France. Just ten bucks a photograph, Get your seats while they last. We take Visa and MasterCard, debit or cash. Isn’t it nice that they’re being so nice to us? If I’m not mistaken I think they might like us. Aren’t we lucky to be here? Stop moving, they’re taking a picture. Smile for the camera, Evelyn. Come in, come in, must be cold out there gentlemen. Take off your coats, and just guess what the wind blew in. I know you like twins, have I got a surprise, They’re identical sisters attached at the side. Just imagine the fun you could have with these chicklets, And they’re so well-behaved, not a single complaint yet. Just look at these photographs, while I pour you a cocktail, I don’t know whether I should charge double or triple! Ladies and gentlemen, critics and hipsters, Have you heard the new disc by the Evelyn sisters? Seamlessly floating with grace between eras and genres, They sing timeless new songs, rife with double entendres. As featured in Rolling Stone, Spin, The New Yorker and Pitchfork, There’s an in-store appearance today at the corner, Of Bedford and Seventh Ave., some get a photograph, sticker and autographed shirt.

Have you seen my sister Evelyn? Dang she’s gone and wandered off again. I’ve been looking high and low, Where oh where’d my sister go? She’s been known to spend some time, With a sailor friend of mine. I called him up and what’d he say? “I ain’t seen that girl today.” So if you see my sister Evelyn, Tell that girl to hurry home again. Where oh where’d my sister Evelyn go? Is she with the doctor or the plumber, Or the dentist or the handyman? Did she go to India or Africa, Or Wichita or Pakistan? Did she go join the Navy, or go completely crazy, Or is she playing a trick on me? Did she run off with the barber, the professor, Or the banker, or the clergyman? Is it possible that she could be in Timbuktu, Or Katmandu or Vegas or Uzbekistan?, She learning how to do-do, The Chattanooga Choo Choo? Oh golly where could that girl be? She’s been known to jump a train, With a gal we know from down the lane. I looked her up and wha’d she say? “I ain’t seen that girl in days.” Is my floozy sister with the doctor, Or the drummer, Or the dentist or the handyman? Did that ho-bag quit her job and run off with that dick-head Mike, To Indio, Guantanamo, Or Panama or Disneyland? Is she studying Kabbalah? Did she win a million dollars? Or is she dead in a ditch somewhere?

Sandy fishnets, washed up on the shore. What’s she catching, and will she be sore? Sandy was the prettiest of all. She talked French, she came from Montreal. During chores she never had to help. Sandy got a bed all to herself. We slept in the trailer to the right. Sandy told us stories late at night. She spoke of ships and sailors, And a sea so big and wide. She had lots of uncles and was always tired. How they loved her in those early days. Mrs. Bulger let her go away. All her uncles drove her off to play. We would see them kissing on the lake. Time went by and Sandy’s all grown up. The lines of uncles dwindled, And the pirate stories stopped. Then one day Melissa May showed up, And Sandy had to share a bed with us. And will she be soaring over the sea, With the wind in her sails and a knife in her teeth? At the helm of a ship, on its way to a distant shore, Bermuda or Thailand, an uncharted island, Sandy, we’re all getting older. What will they do with us, When they are through with us? Sandy, what are we sailing for? Christmas morning, 1993, Presents waiting underneath the tree. There’s a box for me, a box for me. No gift for poor old Sandy to be seen. We found Sandy sobbing quietly. Uncle Gerald said he liked Christine. Mrs. Bulgar said she had to leave. Three days later, she was gone, The day she turned thirteen.

Elephant, elephant, Big and strong and gentle and intelligent, intelligent. How could I feel blue? I’ve got my sister at my side, And an elephant to ride. Oh, elephant, elephant, You’re sad and in a cage, but that’s irrelevant, irrelevant. ‘Cause everyone is jealous when they see me riding by, On a friend of such of great size. Other kids ride bikes, that’s true, Or daddies pick them up from school, But that won’t do for me you understand. Other kids have horses, other kids have dogs, Other kids have hamsters, other kids have frogs. But the pet for me is something much more grand! And benevolent, and elegant... And I’ve got an elephant, elephant, Riding on your back I’m in my element, element. It’s true and it’s a fact that there is so much you can learn, When you’re on a pachyderm. Oh, elephant, elephant, Life’s not so bad, it’s swell of it to give me such a friend. Oh, elephant, elephant, I’m with you to the end!

You pulled up at the house at half past seven, In your ‘69 Impala, shook hands with my father. And we stopped off at the drug store by the drive-in, For some Trojans and a six-pack, Still your eyes kept wandering back to her, It’s always her. So let’s get one thing straightened out here, sir. If you think you’re seeing double, Let me save you some trouble. This ain’t no two-for-one bargain here, mister. ‘Cause I’m much more than just twice shy, I’ve had enough two-timing guys, Who only want me ‘cause they want my sister. My eyes are just as blue as hers, my hair is just as fine, And the tattoo on her lower back’s exactly just like mine. But if you look beneath the surface, We’re as different as can be, ‘Cause there’s just one heart that beats for you, And that heart belongs to me, And not to her, it’s always her, So let’s get one thing straight if I’m your girl. And if tomorrow you should die, My sister would not bat an eye. She doesn’t even know your name. She’s going with some other guy. As long as she is still around, I’ll always have a trace of doubt. I need to know your love is real, but how? We’re all dressed up, the flowers sure are pretty. Mother pays her last respects. I look around, no one suspects, That it was me who put the Drano in her coffee. And now that she is underground, I’ll know that you’re not hanging ‘round, For her, no, not for her. And now I’ll know your love is true for sure. It pains my heart to think of her, A rotting, stinking, maggot-infested, Bloated, and pus-oozing corpse beneath earth. You can’t imagine just how much I miss her, But now I know you want me, not my sister.

It’s hard enough to know, Where you’re really supposed to go, When you’re looking for a friendly face, Book a ticket to another place. You move your lips to speak, But they look at you like you’re a freak. It’s a struggle just to stay alive, Journals burning in a burning fire. Everyone stares, but nobody ever sees you. You go searching everywhere, But the feeling never leaves you. And you can’t always want what you get, When you’re looking for love, In a cafe on the internet. You want somewhere to hide, Where everyone can find you. You join hands with the world and say, “I just want my space.” Some people say the future’s past, We’re going down in an electro-blast. There are plenty other acts like you, Tube is full of them and they can see right through you. It’s a big bad world out there, Everybody looking for a GIF to share. And you’re crying out to find your friends, Turn around and they are gone again. Everyone stares, but nobody ever sees you. Try to vanish in thin air, But the feeling, it never leaves you. I just want to go where nobody knows my name, And no one notices or cares whether I came. I just want my friends altogether in one place. I just want control over the way they see my face. I just want to friend the entire human race. I just want my space.

When routine bites hard And ambitions are low And resentment rides high And emotions won't grow And we're changing our ways, taking different roads Love, love will tears us apart again Why is the bedroom so cold? You've turned away on your side Is my timing that flawed? Have our feelings run dry? Yet there's still this appeal we've kept through our lives Love, love will tear us apart again You cry out in your sleep All my failings exposed There's a taste in my mouth As desperation takes hold Just that something so good, just can't function no more Love, love will tear us apart again